


The Room Where Sin Happens

by BeatsPM, ThatsSoVery



Category: Hamilton- Miranda
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Alternate Universe- Modern Setting - Freeform, Everyone Is Gay, George Washington knows nothing about technology, Group chat, M/M, Multi, Swearing, Texting, Why do I have to tag that, group chats, he also thinks dinosaurs aren't real, i'm funnier at 3am, one of the authors only writes for this late at night, texting fic, theres a million tags for gcs here??, this is funny I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7606186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeatsPM/pseuds/BeatsPM, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatsSoVery/pseuds/ThatsSoVery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>mwashinghoe: <3</p><p>gwashinghoe: What is less than three?</p><p>mwashinghoe: Oh George, you have so much to learn.</p><p>Another group chat au that literally no one wants or needs, based on (mostly) true events, and inspired by literally every other gc fic on this website.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. whata wrong with my peener

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone and welcome to hell
> 
> This is all based on a real Hamilton group chat that me and @BeatsPM started! I'll be going by Hamilton and they'll be going by Laurens because co-authors always give themselves nicknames I think????
> 
> This first chapter is kind of short and only loosely based on something that happened in the chat, but I promise you they will get a lot longer soon! For now, enjoy this trash.
> 
> Usernames are kind of obvious but will be listed in the next chapter when more characters are introduced!

_adotfightme has created "Meme Hell"_  
_adotfightme has added j-lo, largebaguette and horselover1234 to the chat_

**j-lo:** i drew a puppy today!!!

 **adotfightme:** share with the class

 **j-lo:** pupper.jpg

 **adotfightme:** !!!!good!!!!

 **largebaguette:** that is a nice dog

 **largebaguette:** and a nice penis shilouette next to the dog...smh john

 **j-lo:** That is my phone

 **adotfightme:** um...then how did you take the pic SWEATY ((((((:

 **j-lo:** ALEX PLEASE YOU HAVE SEEN IT,,

 **largebaguette:** where's herc

 **horselover1234:** i was making john's dog better

 **j-lo:** wtf is your username

 **horselover1234:** haven't changed it since middle school and i'm not changing it now 

 **horselover1234:** tacopupper.jpg

 **largebaguette:** how does drawing a taco around the dog make it better?

 **horselover1234:** idk

 **j-lo:** tacos make everything better

 **adotfightme:** ok but herc is that shilouette not a penis

 **horselover1234:** idk

 **j-lo:** whata wrong with my peener

 **largebaguette:** so you admit that's your pebis

 **horselover1234:** pebis

 **adotfightme:** JOHN WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

 **largebaguette:** whata wrong with my peener

 **j-lo:** I

_largebaguette has renamed "Meme Hell" to "whata wrong with my peener"_

**adotfightme:** I DON'T UNDERSTAND???

 **horselover1234:** whata wrong with my peener

 **largebaguette:** whata wrong with my peener

 **j-lo:** whata wrong with my peener

 **largebaguette:** whata wrong with my peener

 **j-lo:** whata wrong with my peener

 **horselover1234:** whata wrong with my peener

_adotfightme has left the chat  
largebaguette has added adotfightme to the chat_

**largebaguette:** whata wrong with my peener

 **adotfightme:** I'm blocking all of you

_adotfightme has left the chat_

**largebaguette:** HE ACTUALT BLOCKED  
ME????

 **horselover1234:** actualt

 **largebaguette:** E N O U H G

 **j-lo:** enouhg

 **largebaguette:** E N O U G H

 **largebaguette:** john tell your overgrown man child to unblock me

 **j-lo:** he blocked me too??

 **horselover1234:** same

 **j-lo:** I got this

_j-lo has added George Washington to the chat_

**George Washington:** What is this?

 **George Washington:** What does "whata wrong with my peener" mean?

 **George Washington:** Why am I here?

 **largebaguette:** no time for questions sir please just tell Alexander to unblock us

 **George Washington:** Okay..?

_George Washington - > adotfightme_

**George Washington:** Alexander?

 **adotfightme:** Hello sir! Have I done something wrong?

 **George Washington:** No, but your friends asked me to tell you to unblock them, whatever that means.

 **adotfightme:** Thank you for relaying the message to me, sir.

_whata wrong with my peener_

**George Washington:** Okay, it looks like he has unblocked you.

 **largebaguette:** merci 

  
_largebaguette has added adotfightme to the chat_

**adotfightme:** WHICH ONE OF YOU NUGGET GARGLING MEMEFUCKERS BROUGHT WASHINGTON INTO THIS

 **George Washington:** Alexander, I am still here.

 **adotfightme:** Hello sir! How was your day today?

_George Washington has left the chat_

**horselover1234:** ...wyd tho

 **adotfightme:** SHIT

  
_adotfightme - > George Washington_

**adotfightme:** Sir, I would like to sincerely apologize that I said such a crude thing in your presence. I was not aware that you were in that chat and in no way meant to insult you. Please do not fire me.

 **George Washington:** I've seen worse. You are forgiven. If anything, I have been more scarred than angered. 

_largebaguette - > George Washington_

**largebaguette:** mon general, have you ever noticed that your username is...how you say, basic?

 **George Washington:** I am not aware of what that means. Is that one of your "slang" terms?

 **largebaguette:** yes I believe the Americans use it to say that something is boring or not creative

 **George Washington:** Are you suggesting I change it?

 **largebaguette:** oui

 **largebaguette:** you should change it to gwashinghoe

 **George Washington:** That is...quite odd. I want to ask why, but if it'll help me get along with the young folk better then why not?

_George Washington has changed their username to gwashinghoe_

_gwashinghoe - > Martha Washington_

**gwashinghoe:** Sometimes these kids are too much.

 **Martha Washington:** Lafayette?

 **gwashinghoe:** Yes. They said my username was "basic". Sometimes I think I'm a little too close with my employees.

_Martha Washington has changed their username to mwashinghoe_

**mwashinghoe:** <3

 **gwashinghoe:** What is less than three?

 **mwashinghoe:** Oh George, you have so much to learn.

_j-lo - > adotfightme_

**j-lo:** whata wrong with my peener

 **adotfightme:** S T O P


	2. Hercules Mulligan Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk man i just beta read this and i cackled -laurens

_whata wrong with my peener_

 

**adotfightme:** I ALMOST BLEW UP THE MICROWAVE 

**j-lo:** WHAT DID YOU DO

**adotfightme:** IM MAKIGN GRILLED CHEESE

**adotfightme:** AND I PUT BUTTER IN A SMALL TINY PLATE

**adotfightme:** TO MELT IT U KNO

**adotfightme:** LITERALLY NOT 3 SECONDS LATER SPARKS WERE FLYING OUT OF IT

**j-lo:** why do you melt butter in the microwave 

**adotfightme:** ????how else would you melt it???

**horselover1234:** BREAKING NEWS: Alexander Hamilton nearly blows up entire kitchen trying to melt butter

**adotfightme:** stop bullying me I'm really shaken up I COULDVE DIED

**j-lo:** one time I microwaved a steel bowl

**largebaguette:** honestly that's so #alex

**adotfightme:** ur father will think I'm a bad influence,,,

**adotfightme:** it's the taylor swift song all over again 

**j-lo:** which one

**adotfightme:** the

**j-lo:** wildest dreams??

**adotfightme:** no the other 1

**j-lo:** the one with the careful daughter??

**adotfightme:** you gotta be more specific 

**largebaguette:** you know who knows which song you meant

_largebaguette has added macaroniman, slimjim, and thebestfurry to the chat_

**adotfightme:** OH FUCK YOU

**adotfightme:** YOU JUST WANTED AN EXCUSE TO ADD THEM YOU UGLY CROSSIANT 

**macaroniman:** hello to you too hamilton

**adotfightme** : FUCK YOU

**j-lo:** what's the name of the taylor swift song where the dad doesn't like the dude

**slimjim:** that's like all of them 

**horselover1234:** is nobody going to point out burr’s username 

**thebestfurry:** listen mister go the distance I haven't used this account since 2008 I'm not having your shit today so choke on laf’s overgrown eggplant please and thank you 

**adotfightme:** wtf burr 

_thebestfurry has changed their username to adotburr_

**adotburr:** Hercules Mulligan Die

**largebaguette:** i’m going to have to ask you to stop right there 

**slimjim:** I think I hurt my knee 

**macaroniman:** how 

**slimjim:** idk

**macaroniman:** I'm calling the police

**slimjim:** what why 

**macaroniman:** WAIT NOT THE POLICE

**macaroniman:** THE MEDICAL GUYS

**macaroniman:** AN AMBULANCE

**slimjim:** I am fine 

**macaroniman** : no

**slimjim:** *angry emoji*

**adotfightme:** i AM the angry emoji 

**macaroniman:** tbh i'm all the emojis

**slimjim:** really 

**slimjim:** ( ⋆•ิ ᴈ-ิ(ᵕ❥ ᵕ⁎ ॢ) kissing emoticon

**slimjim:** is that u too

**macaroniman:** ya 

**slimjim:** With who :)

**slimjim:** Is it Angelica 

**macaroniman:** angelica??? hates me???

**slimjim:** ://

**slimjim:** is it Burr

**macaroniman:** no wtf james

**macaroniman:** stop acting like a jealous heterosexual girlfriend 

**slimjim:** Aaron please help me pursue my destiny of being a jealous heterosexual girlfriend 

**adotburr:** how can I help

**slimjim** : PRETEND TO DATE ME

**macaroniman:** what

**largebaguette:** this is, how u say, a mess

**adotburr:** Ok 

**slimjim** : <3

**adotburr:** <3

**slimjim** : <3

**adotburr:** <3

**slimjim:** <3

**adotburr** : <3

**slimjim:** ily

**adotburr:** ily too

_macaroniman has left the chat_

**adotfightme** : oh no tyler left 

**j-lo:** tyler??? 

**adotfightme:** JDKFKG THAT WAS A TYPO BUT IM CALLIGNB HIM THAT NOW 

**adotburr** : if he's gone that leaves more time for us James <3

**slimjim:** <3

**horselover1234:** Wat

**j-lo:** wtf is happening 

**slimjim:** love

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

**slimjim:** <3

**adotburr:** <3

**slimjim:** <3

**adotburr:** <3

**macaroniman:** i am Uncomfortable 

_macaroniman has left the chat_

**largebaguette:** i think he's being...what is it you americans say? “salty”?

**slimjim:** omg this guy

**adotburr:** let's add him back and pretend we broke up

**slimjim:** ok

**adotburr:** wait should it be like hate break up???

**adotburr:** or waht kind

**slimjim:** “lets br8k up” “lol k”

**adotburr:** k

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

**adotburr:** oh boy 

**macaroniman:** ???

**adotfightme:** YO TYLER THEY BROKE UP

**macaroniman:** who is tyler

**adotfightme:** you 

**macaroniman:** ok???

**adotburr** : so don't worry about me stealin ur man

**macaroniman:** What

**slimjim:** What 

**macaroniman:** What

**slimjim:** What

**macaroniman** : What

**adotburr:** What

**slimjim:** What

**adotburr:** Helpless???

**slimjim:** lol nah

**macaroniman:** What

**slimjim:** hey jefferson!!!

**macaroniman:** What

**slimjim:** ur a loser 

**slimjim:** ily

**macaroniman:** i love me too  <3

**macaroniman:** brb gonna set my arm on fire :)

**slimjim:** Why

**adotfightme** : ok 

**adotburr** : WAIT

**macaroniman:** what

**adotburr:** Don't do it 

**adotfightme:** do it

**macaroniman:** but i want,,,

**slimjim** : Why

**macaroniman:** just let me burn my arm in peace 

_macaroniman has left the chat_

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

**slimjim** : tbh,, im gay but like angelica is really pretty????

**slimjim:** like when I look at her I feel,,,

**slimjim:** like I don't usually feel 

**macaroniman:** how do u feel when u look at me jemmy

**slimjim:** Sad

**adotburr:** how about me

**slimjim:** mm probsbly happy 

**adotburr:** :)

_macaroniman has left the chat_

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

_macaroniman has left the chat_

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

_macaroniman has left the chat_

**j-lo:** wow 

**adotburr:** this guy,,, 

**slimjim** : when do you think he’ll notice I'm sad beCAUSE HE DOESNT LOVE ME 

**adotfightme:** CALLED IT 

**j-lo:** dude he's totally in love with you 

**slimjim:** stop 

**largebaguette** : they are right mon ami 

**slimjim** : someone please tell him 

_adotburr has added macaroniman to the chat_

**adotfightme** : JEFFERSON YOURE A FUCKING IDIOT JAMES LOVES YOU 

_slimjim has left the chat_

**macaroniman:** what 

**adotfightme:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

**macaroniman:** like,,, for real ??? 

**adotfightme** : idk ask him yourself 

**adotburr** : you guys need to talk about this 

_macaroniman - > slimjim_

**macaroniman:** so uh,, 

**macaroniman:** hamilton said some things,,, 

**slimjim:** ok 

**macaroniman:** is it true? 

**slimjim:** yes?? 

**macaroniman** : oh 

**macaroniman:** i’m so confused about everything 

**slimjim:** maybe you would be less confused if you actually took me seriously you ween 

**macaroniman:** well i love you too 

**slimjim:** you do? 

**macaroniman:** ofc??????? 

**slimjim:** so are we dating now??? 

**macaroniman:** if you want,, 

**slimjim:** i do want that,,, a lot 

**macaroniman** : ok good me too 

**slimjim:** you can add me back to the group chat now 

_whata wrong with my peener_

_macaroniman has added slimjim to the chat_

**macaroniman:** we have resolved things,,, 

**adotburr:** F I N A L L Y 

**adotfightme:** why am I even surprised I should've known 

**largebaguette:** congratulations!! 

**j-lo:** saw it coming 

**adotburr:** well I'm gonna “go to sleep” 

**adotfightme:** why is go to sleep in quotes 

**adotburr:** shhhhh 

**j-lo:** tbh me too 

**largebaguette:** goodnight 

**adotfightme:** night 

**macaroniman:** everyone is asleep 

**macaroniman** : looks like it's just you and me jemmy ;) 

**slimjim:** well I mean there's hercules but I suppose we are 

**macaroniman:** ;)))))) 

**slimjim:** what are you implying with those winky faces 

**slimjim:** !!!!!!! Are you saying you want to hold hands?? 

**macaroniman:** Ya

**slimjim:** it's like 11 tho 

**macaroniman:** i am on my way 

**slimjim:** thoMAS NO

**macaroniman:** i am 5 blocks away and I have fluffy blankets and ice cream 

**slimjim:** thomas please you can't wake up the entire neighborhood to hold my hand

**macaroniman:** watch me 

**slimjim:** what flavor ice cream 

**macaroniman:** your favorite

**slimjim:** <3

**macaroniman:** IM GONNA KICKFLIP THROUGH YOUR WINDOW

**slimjim:** stop kicking my window it's not gonna work 

**slimjim:** is that mean girls 

**macaroniman** : yes,,

**macaroniman:** PLEASE LET ME IN

**slimjim:** fine 

\---

**horselover1234:** fuc a ho kill dez hoez I don care i fuc JO MAMA HO I FUC JO MAMA HUNDED PERCEN HUNDED i don shizzl i don shizzl fuc em aw i don even care daw

**slimjim:** i think he's drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90% of the things in this chapter actually happened in the group chat bcus were losers -laurens


	3. man door hand hook car door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the schuylers and maria join the chat and peggy tells a scary story. alex is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello  
> thank you for reading this  
> ily  
> goodbye

_ whata wrong with my peener  _

 

**j-lo:** yo peggy wants to be added

 

**horselover1234:** do it 

 

_ j-lo has added pegleg to the chat  _

 

**pegleg:** WHATS UP BITCHES

 

_ pegleg has added actualangel, elizard, and maria(h) carey to the chat  _

 

**actualangel:** what is this

 

**elizard:** O

 

**adotfightme:** betsey is here!!!

 

**pegleg:** I want to tell you guys a scary story 

 

**adotfightme:** go for it 

 

**pegleg:** man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of the road. 

 

**horselover1234:** oh no 

 

**largebaguette:** i don't understand???

 

**horselover1234:** just wait 

 

**j-lo:** ew straight people 

 

**adotburr:** #offended

 

**pegleg:** he turn to his girl and say: 

 

**pegleg:** “baby, i love you very much.”

 

**pegleg:** “what is it honey?”

 

**pegleg:** “our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some fuel.”

 

**adotfightme:** how is fuel going to fix a broken engine??? and how is he gonna fill up the car if he's not taking it to the gas station?????

 

**elizard:** shit u rite

 

**adotburr:** what did I wake up to 

 

**pegleg:** “ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen.”

 

**horselover1234:** tag yourself I'm the news report

 

**largebaguette:** tag yourself??

 

**horselover1234:** it's kind of like when you're presented with a list of something and you have to choose something from the list to identify with???

 

**largebaguette:** oh merci

 

**largebaguette:** tag yourself I'm the list

 

**elizard:** i’m something

 

**adotfightme:** i’m tag yourself???

 

**j-lo:** i’m tag yourself I'm the news report 

 

**pegleg:** “good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty.”

 

**actualangel:** sweaty 

 

**slimjim:** sweaty 

 

**adotburr:** sweaty 

 

**maria(h) carey:** sweaty

 

**j-lo:** sweaty

 

**pegleg:** so the guy left to go get full for the car. after two hours the girl say “where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now”. then the girl here scratching sound and voice say “LET ME IN”

 

**adotfightme:** go get full for the car 

 

**slimjim:** here 

  
  


**elizard:** “.

 

**maria(h) carey:** my baby 

 

**elizard:** what 

 

**maria(h) carey:** what 

 

**pegleg:** the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up to find her boyfriend still not there.

 

**actualangel:** wow

 

**macaroniman:** ?????????

 

**horselover1234:** HERE IT COMES

 

**pegleg:** she goes out to check and man door hand hook car door

 

**j-lo:** what 

 

**macaroniman:** ?????????????????

 

**adotfightme:** WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN OR SAY

 

**adotburr:** wtf the fuck

 

**actualangel:** eggy,,, what

 

**elizard:** eggy

 

**pegleg:** hello everyone my name is eggy 

 

**actualangel:** shut up peggy i didn't ask for your irrelevant opinion

 

**slimjim:** Agnelica Die

 

**elizard:** agnelica

 

_ actualangel has changed their username to agnelica _

 

**agnelica:** hello everyone it is I, agnelica 

 

**slimjim:** g o o d b y e

 

**adotfightme:** I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND????

 

**adotfightme:** WHAT DOES MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR DOOR MEAN 

 

_ pegleg has left the chat _

 

**adotfightme:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

_ horselover1234 has changed “whata wrong with my peener” to “man door hand hook car door”  _

 

**adotfightme:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this i love getting kudos and comments it makes me feel important (im thirsty for comments lol ignore me)
> 
> if anyone is confused about relationships: the tagged relationships that are NOT actually together yet are eliza/maria and lee/seabury??? i think?? the rest should all already be together since jefferson and madison got together in the last chapter
> 
> have a lovely day! <3 -ham


	4. mcsuffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> charles lee is a weeb, alex and john have a son and washington doesn't understand what hanging out is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello I'm not dead and neither is this fic I just have no motivation but I swear this and the other fic I'm writing will be completed but this one will probably update much faster than roll-stepping because I'm more motivated to do group chats rn lmao anyway enjoy -ham

_man door hand hook car door_

**sinbury:** hello

 **adotfightme:** WHO THE FUCK

 **adotfightme:** WHO THE F U CK

 **adotfightme:** wH O THE FCU K ADDED HIM

 **adotfightme:** I WILL DROP KICK YOU INTO THE SUN

 **sinbury:** hello

 **adotfightme:** BITCH 

 **sinbury:**...hello…

 **adotfightme:** D I E

 **slimjim:** I think he invited himself

 **therealmewichigo:** hello

 **adotfightme:** who THe F YVCK

 **j-lo:** A?

 **slimjim:** what

 **therealmewichigo:** im a general

 **therealmewichigo:** wheeee

 **adotfightme:** NO

 **slimjim:** oh

 **horselover1234:** wow I can't believe charles lee is a fucking weeb

 **therealmewichigo:** I prefer the term “Japanese Culture Enthusiast”, thank you very much

 **adotfightme:** DIE

 **adotfightme:** WHO THE FUVK ADDED THESE SHITHEADS I WILL DROPCKIC THEM IMTO THE S U N

 **j-lo:** alex please seabury could kill you just by breathing in your direction

 **adotfightme:** that is False, a Lie, and I am Suing you

 **gwashinghoe:** Welcome to the chat, Charles.

 **j-lo:** why is he here

 **therealmewichigo:** Thank you Mr Washington im glad SOMEONE is happy to see me

 **j-lo:** why is he here

 **therealmewichigo:** uh

 **therealmewichigo:** I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,,,

 **j-lo:** you think??? (-:

 **therealmewichigo:** But we can put all that behind us right???

 **j-lo:** Sure

 **therealmewichigo:** Wow that was a lot easier than I expected

 **adotfightme:** wHTAY THE FXUK

 **adotfightme:** john???? how could you???? betray??? me????

 **j-lo:** I just woke up and I don't want drama

 **adotfightme:** B E T R A Y A L

 **j-lo:** im going to adopt a dog without you then smh

 **adotfightme:** what

 **adotfightme:** this is unfair I want a divorce

 **j-lo:** :-(

 **adotfightme:** )-: <

 **therealmewichigo:** oooh relationship drama up in here

 **adotfightme:**  fuck off garbage lee who asked for ur input

 **therealmewichigo:** )’:

 **gwashinghoe:** For starting off on a new foot, this is going pretty poorly.

 **slimjim:** why is he here

 **gwashinghoe:** He works for me, as do most of the people in this chat. I did not believe it would be the biggest deal in the world to invite him here.

 **gwashinghoe:** Clearly I was wrong.

 **slimjim:** but look at him sir

 **therealmewichigo:** I'll be good Mr Washington please don't make me leave ):

 **slimjim:** he’s him

 **therealmewichigo:** I take offense to that

 **slimjim:** with all due respect, cry me a river

 **gwashinghoe:** Seeing how he has yet to do much other than exist, I'm not going to get rid of him for being “himself”.

 **therealmewichigo:** Yeah that's mean!

 **adotfightme:** die

 **gwashinghoe:** If John is able to put the past behind him, you all can too.

 **slimjim:** But

 **gwashinghoe:** James, think of it like this. Alex constantly wants to fight Thomas but manages to stay in this group chat with him. I would hope that you all can be fine with Charles.

 **slimjim:** i’ll comply

 **slimjim:** for now

 **slimjim:** forever probably because I fear

 **gwashinghoe:** Fear what?

 **slimjim:** you

 **gwashinghoe:** I scare you? This can't do.

 **gwashinghoe:** Where are you, James? I'm taking you out for food.

 **slimjim:** what did I do to deserve this

 **gwashinghoe:** I cannot live with someone I know fearing me, let alone an employee.

 **therealmewichigo:** I’ll eat food with you sir!!!

 **gwashinghoe:** I have to right my wrongs.

 **slimjim:** you did nothing wrong sir

 **j-lo:** WHO WANTS TO SEE MY PUPPY

 **slimjim:** ME

 **slimjim:** i mean,,, me

 **j-lo:** lookatmyson.jpg

 **gwashinghoe:** Nonsense! Many people have told me that my height and large hands are discomforting, but I do not want you to fear me, James.

 **gwashinghoe:** John, your dog is very cute.

 **j-lo:** alexander doesn't know yet shhhh

 **slimjim:** sir that's not your fault i scare easily

 **gwashinghoe:** But I can put your fears to rest by showing you that while I look intimidating, I am not scary!

 **slimjim:** but i don't want you to have to pay for my food

 **slimjim:** what kind of man would I be

 **gwashinghoe:** A well-fed man who is not afraid of his boss!

 **slimjim:** but sir

 **gwashinghoe:** But nothing.

 **slimjim:** do I have a say in this

 **gwashinghoe:** I’m almost to your house, and I will come inside to get you.

 **macaroniman:** do i have a say in this

 **gwashinghoe:** No.

 **slimjim:** fin e

 **slimjim:** please don't overspend

 **gwashinghoe:** I’m taking you to a restaurant of your choice, James. The amount I spend is up to you.

 **therealmewichigo:** ):

 **j-lo:** im content with my dog

 **gwashinghoe:** James, I’m outside.

 **slimjim:** i see you sir

 **gwashinghoe:** Where do you want to eat?

 **slimjim:** im not letting you take me anywhere more expensive than mcdonalds so

 **slimjim:** mcdonalds

\---

 **slimjim:** hello

 **slimjim:** it's me

 **adotfightme:** ghdjvm motnign

 **agnelica:** what

 **elizard:** what

 **pegleg:** AND PEGGY

 **slimjim:** what

 **adotfightme:** goog moog

 **j-lo:** ALEX COME DOWNSTAIRS

 **adotfightme:** ??????

 **slimjim:** help

 **pegleg:** what

 **slimjim:** i've been in washington’s car for 30 minutes

 **slimjim:** he ran into a friend as he was bringing me the food, ben franklin I think??

 **slimjim:** and then left me alone in the car

 **slimjim:** he said he wouldn't be long

 **pegleg:** rest in chicken nuggets

 **adotfightme:** !!!!!!!!!

 **adotfightme:** PUPPY

 **adotfightme:** MY SON

 **adotfightme:** OUR SON

 **adotfightme:** JOHN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 **j-lo:** i know (;

 **elizard:** what the fuck

 **slimjim:** ive been playing candy crush all this time someone help

 **pegleg:** do u wanna play pool

 **slimjim:** ok

 **pegleg:** ill message u

\---

 **gwashinghoe:** James, are you doing alright?

 **gwashinghoe:** That took longer than expected! Hopefully you didn't get too bored.

 **slimjim:** im fine (-:

 **gwashinghoe:** Benjamin was telling me this amazing story of the Fourth of July he spent with Baron von Steuben! He has to go visit his girls now, so we’ll be off.

 **slimjim:** im tired

 **adotfightme:** me too

 **gwashinghoe:** You'd like to go home already, James?

 **slimjim:** sir no #offense but when u take someone to hang out it’s probably not a good idea to spend 2 minutes with them and then go talk to someone else for an hour while the initial person plays phone games in your car

 **slimjim:** not to sass u or anything just a piece of advice

 **gwashinghoe:** Oh my, was it really an hour?

 **slimjim:** yes sir

 **adotfightme:** LETS TALK ABOUT MY S O N

 **slimjim:** shut up alex

 **gwashinghoe:** Well, I guess I'll have to take you out to eat again to make up for this.

 **gwashinghoe:** Maybe at this nice French restaurant Lafayette once took me to!

 **adotfightme:** my,, son,,,

 **j-lo:** your son

 **adotfightme:** he's your son too john

 **adotfightme:** our son,,,

 **gwashinghoe:** He is a very cute puppy. You should bring him over and let him play with my hounds to socialize.

 **j-lo:** yes!!

 **adotfightme:** IM SO HAPPY

 **adotfightme:** HES SO FLUFFY MY PRECIOUS SON

 **slimjim:** im ok with the french restaurant but

 **slimjim:** ill probably just order water

 **therealmewichigo:** I would love to go to a French restaurant!!!! :D

 **gwashinghoe:** James, I insist that you at least try the blacked salmon salad.

 **slimjim:** how about the water

 **adotfightme:** john im so happy

 **therealmewichigo:** Why does everyone hate me so much ):

 **gwashinghoe:** Charles, I'm sure James wouldn't mind including you to our outing, would you James?

 **slimjim:** no of course not (-:

 **gwashinghoe:** Great! Then it's settled. I'll be taking James and Charles to lunch tomorrow.   
Y'all are gonna love it.

 **therealmewichigo:** Wow!! A dinner invite?!? This is so amazing!!!:D

 **pegleg:** did washington just say y'all

 **adotfightme:** JOHN LETS GO SHOW OFF OUR SON TO THE WORLD

 **j-lo:** yes

 **adotfightme:** im so happy

 **sinbury:** hello do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior King George???

 **adotfightme:** nevermind

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of characters in this chapter like 85% of this was taken straight from our actual group chat that I'm basing this fic on and these were the only people online for this event ,,, the next chapter may take a while but it'll be juicy and the chapter after that is already finished so !!!! see ya babes -ham

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this Mess
> 
> updates will be as frequent as possible! -ham
> 
> For anyone wondering,, here are the original dog pictures https://imgur.com/a/acqHi -laurens


End file.
